stalking implies denied reciprocity

Here is the start of a list of people I am totally friends with, but they just don't know it yet:

1. Ina
Ina Garten = The Barefoot Contessa = show on the Food Network
Love her, love her food, love how cute she is about her husband, love her friends, love her garden, love her house, love that my husband bought me a cookbook through her website and requested that she autographed it and she did (nice!) and she wrote, "Dear Kathryn, Have fun! Ina" And you know what? I AM, INA! I'm having a great time! Thank you! Oh, and did I mention that every single one of Ina's recipes works perfectly and is delicious? If you are on the Food Network, I think that's an unspoken expectation of your viewers. Alas, it is not true for all the hosts. (This means you, Rachel Ray!)

2. David Sedaris
Anyone who avoids the use of singular nouns because he cannot remember their gender en francais is a friend of mine. Two tomatoes, please. Not to mention he's a North Carolinian. And we know those are always cool. If anyone who ever reads this knows David Sedaris (or IS David Sedaris -- why dream small?) could you please request that he start a blog? He can even charge for a subscription to it. That's fine. I will pay in tomatoes.

3. Stacy and Clinton
Some people tout Trinny and Susannah, and here's what I have to say about that: in general, they look great, but very few of the people they dress do! Not fair! Are they trying to up their odds of pretty by comparison?! Not nice. Bad Brits. Whereas Stacy and Clinton always look smashing, and they do not let people buy ill-fitting clothing (Jackets must button! Yes, Clinton, you are right!) and they pay attention to personal style (No making a stay-at-home Mama buy a suit she doesn't need. Flattering leather blazer, yes. Dark three-piece, no.). Also, Stacy shares my, um, affinity (it's my blog, I can call it what I want) for pointy-toed shoes. If only everyone watched WNTW, they would know that our toes are not crunched into the end and if the shoes fit properly then no, they do not hurt. AND, Stacy seems to have located every single v-neck, empire-waist, eye-popping color blouse or shell on earth. Good job.