Are you ready?!?! What do you mean, "for what?" Tonight is the Miss America pageant! It moved to CMT a few years ago, which caused me to miss every single promo, thus remaining unaware of the date entirely. Don't let this happen to you.
Some people are confused by my (and my sister's) enthusiasm for the pageant. After all, I was never a pageant queen (I can be really nice, but not for that long at a stretch, and I have a feeling the "handlers" and I wouldn't get along) and I don't have teased hair (not since 9th...okay 10th...grade, anyway). So for the curious, I will list some of the fine reasons for tuning in this evening:
- We don't just watch, we rank. You have to be there from the beginning, because the introductions, cheesy as they are, are your chance to list your top ten. Keep in mind, Mississippi always makes it (as well she should); Miss America is, statistically speaking, never tall (and rarely a redhead); and frozen = not chosen, the smile's gotta be real.
- Evidently, pageant-watching runs in the Howell Family, as our cousin Landon live-blogged the Miss America telecast last year.
- Chris Matthews is a judge. I'm guessing given his *ahem* terrible toughness, he's going to turn out to be totally bewildered by the searing gaze of these driven women.
- It's cheaper than the $95.24 ticket to watch it live in Vegas.
- Miss Tennessee's name is BLAIRE PANCAKE! Really! (What more do you need to know?)