some things you just shouldn't do

My mother has a rule, "Never say anything you don't want someone to visualize." This is an exceptionally good policy which, if you can manage to stick to it, can prevent all sorts of embarrassing situations.

I would like to name a new rule today: "Some things you just shouldn't do, even if you look going doing it." I'm beginning to think that we should make a little handbook of just these two rules and mail them, free of charge, to all current celebrities.

The first person on our mailing list wil be Sienna Miller. Who decided recently that tights + granny panties = sassy outerwear.



No, my dear Ms. Miller, they do not. And please see the new rule above -- I do not mean to imply that this...ermmm...choice of...ermmmm....clothing...was unflattering on you. In fact you have quite the slim figure and, as such, the...ermmm...outfit...was not revolting in the sense that YOU made it unattractive. But may I humbly suggest that Aphrodite herself would look a bit ridiculous sporting this combination.

I know that Madonna has worn such things, but in concert, and therefore, as far as I'm concerned, as a costume. (Besides, it's just totally a different outfit. AND SHE'S MADONNA.) I'm sure someone in Paris would contradict me, saying that this idea is the New Wonderful. Well, they were wrong about the Eiffel Tower at first, too.

Interestingly, I was drawn to this photo by the headline: Style Queen Sienna Sparks Big Pants Frenzy in UK! Not realizing I was clicking on a link to a British publication, I was thinking of some heavy wide-leg pants I saw in runway photos months ago. Alas, in this case, such a garment would have been referred to as "trousers." Imagine my surprise.